Cotillion

In the spring of my junior year, I was in invited to a cotillion hosted by the Junior League. The Junior League is an an organization of women committed to improving the community. Its purpose is exclusively educational and charitable. The Junior League in my area had many qualities of the upper class as they were discussed in class and in the Birmingham reading, The Right Kind of People.

First, its members consisted of the well-connected and well-to-do in the area. I was an outlier who was attending cotillion on scholarship. It was quite a shock to realize that many of these girls were paying a over $600 to participate in one cotillion. My family was unable to afford the cost, and I was lucky enough to have part of my dress and attendance fee covered by generous sponsors. For many of the other attendees, cost was not as much of a concern because they came from upper class families or from families that had been sending their daughters to this same cotillion for generations.


My parents were certainly outliers compared to the other invitees. I remember going to a tea held for all the mothers of the girls participating in cotillion. The house we entered was huge; there was catered food and cloths on all the dining tables. My mother and I didn't think it would be as formal as it was, having never been to a tea before. In fact, I didn't tell my mother to dress up at all, and was mortified when I arrived at the tea and realized just how out of place she looked. I attribute this social gaffe to class differences between the girls invited to the cotillion and myself. I think this picture exemplifies the class differences found between my mother and the mothers of the tea.

My mother, as you might have guessed, is the Asian woman in shorts.

This is an abridged description of the ball, as found on the event page:

JLWJC’s 60th Annual Community Ball and Cotillion One of Kansas City's most prestigious fundraising events. This year's Community Ball and Cotillion will be held at the Kansas City Marriott-Downtown on Saturday, December 4th, 2010. The Community Ball and Cotillion recognizes outstanding high school seniors who are actively involved in their school and community. We will be honoring 72 young men and women from 15 area high schools. For more than 75 years the Junior League of Wyandotte and Johnson Cos. has provided assistance to create change in the lives of women, children, and families. Our 2009-2014 signature campaign is Safety Network – Each One Reach One for Safety. The JLWJC will align its training, volunteer and funding efforts with programs and initiatives focused on safety. Tickets to this event are $150 per person. Sponsorship levels are also available

Similar to debutante balls and cotillions held in high society New York, our cotillion operated as a fundraising event; several girls had fathers paying on sponsorship level. Our cotillion took place in a grand ballroom in a hotel. There was a dance floor in the middle and tables with white clothes around it. All the girls wore custom-made, long white ball gowns. 

Sadly, this isn't the picture from my year, but the year after. They took down the picture from my year before I could save it to my computer.

We also had a portion during which each girl and boy were "presented". The emcee would say our full names and our parents full names. The girls would be escorted by their father to the middle of the stage. The father would leave and then the girl would be escorted the rest of the way by her dance partner. After being presented, the boys and girls who were presented performed a dance that we had been taught before the ball. All in all, it was a fun experience, though I never realized all the social nuances that occurred until now.

This is me being presented during cotillion. The dress was actually excruciatingly heavy.

I think we made this exact formation at some point during the dance. Some things really don't change.